Of course, I can see if one did have a standard label — wife, mother, professor, artist — it could be confining — but at least it’d do well in small-talk situations!

I hope you have fun at the reunion — I’ll probably never go to any of mine, but that’s because there are no people from high school I want to see again, and only a handful from college (who probably wouldn’t go either).

At any rate, enjoy the reunion :)

I like Susan’s term post-academic, still, but no one *else* knows what it means. Yes: no convenient label is a problem. But also I don’t feel my life is settled into a shape I like. I’m sure it never will be settled entirely, but I’ve barely started forming it . . .

Small-talk is about jobs, or starts there. And so what do you say when you only have a job and not a career?

Brina:

Yes, that’s it. When I say my plans more specifically, they sound better. And even to people who know me, they don’t sound too terrible . . . but then I say them in a more general manner and it sounds pitiful; it sounds like a failure.

It’s not, I realise. But it’s just not where I saw myself, once. Maybe it’s the death of dreams still.

Is that blatant prejudice on my part? Of course it is. But when I’m at a party, I’d rather talk to a post-academic who’s now doing something new and unexpected than some twitchy bore with tunnel vision who can’t talk about anything but her damn dissertation–and in falsely self-deprecating tones at that.

You’ll both find something neat to do with your lives, and you may be surprised to find that your grad-school experiences actually enhance your subsequent careers and offer much-needed perspective. Plus you’ll belong to a community of post-academics who are increasingly comfortable coming out of the shadows.

Some brooding is understandable, but don’t be consumed by it. Enjoy, and exploit, your newfound freedom–because it *is* freedom, even if it may not feel like it right now.

i took over three years “off” between college and grad school (where i’m trying to get my mlis, coincendently) and it was really tough to try and tell people *what* i was doing those years. a friend of mine, in the same boat, came up with the phrase “cover story”, i.e. “i wish i had a good cover story so my parents/friends/etc would stop bothering me/looking bewildered/etc about my life right now.”

sigh. now i’m in grad school it *is* easier but now i don’t like it when i say “grad student” and people nod their head like they *understand* me now and move on. argh! no pleasing me, i guess..

Academics who only talk about their research are incredibly boring. I’ve met, though, very few of those. A lot of people I knew in linguistics were incredibly interesting, just in general.

I’m sure I’ll figure things out, eventually. I don’t regret going to grad school; I certainly don’t regret getting the MA.

I hope it leads to some new & interesting life, too.

It somehow seems more acceptable to do it earlier — or later, especially. But why should you waste 20 years until you decide it’s time to figure things out?

I guess it depends what they understand. I didn’t mind misunderstanding when I was doing *something*, but now . . . I don’t know. Grass is always greener, I guess. Maybe when I feel I’m doing something real & authentic.

WA, I’m with you. I don’t regret getting the MA one bit even though I have no idea how it will possibly serve me later in life. (However, I don’t actually have it yet so I better stop being so proud of it already.)