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Today I’m feeling just like Michelle:
I feel very raw. Do you know how you feel when you have just felt too much? The emotions have been too high and the thoughts come too fast and have nowhere to go. Moments of reprieve come in small doses, like the thoughtless glancing up and seeing a magnolia bloom. Then shattered by the constant external stimuli.
Nothing is really wrong. But if I had a valium, I’d take one today.
Oh, oh, this is just how I feel. Yesterday I saw Spider-Man 2 and cried throughout half the movie (why?) and was catty about all the evil evil assholes who bring their crying babies into the 12:30 show when there’s a 10:00 show the VERY SAME DAY of the same movie that’s specifically for parents with babies (okay I would have been in a bad mood about that one anyhow, I mean really, we’re all paying lots of money to see this movie). But still, crying at stupid not actually sad or even sappy stuff.
And today I honked at some guy who decided that he didn’t need to wait for his turn at a stop sign, and then I was nasty to the people at the cash who were ignoring me for their conversation — just overresponding, really, and I feel vaguely bad about it, but mostly just wondering why I’m quite so sensitive today. I cried at bad, stupid shows, too. And I’m just feeling irritable and irritated by people a lot.
Oh well. Maybe I just need sleep and some time alone, sleeping.
July 7th, 2004 at 11:07 pm
Hmm, I had one of those days too… It only got better around 6 pm.
July 8th, 2004 at 1:17 pm
Same here. I think your solution of being by yourself and sleeping is a good one, if possible.
I’d offer a hug, but I know the dangers of hugging crabby people! :)
Hope you feel better.
July 8th, 2004 at 4:09 pm
No signs of this bad mood lessening, unfortunately. It’s not quite a bad mood; it’s not quite not. Mostly it’s being overly sensitive.
Had some by myself, which hasn’t much helped. Perhaps seeing people would, which I’ve been doing. Not enough sleeping yet, though.
Thanks for the thought, Rana. I’m crabby, but not quite a crab; my claws are still nascent, though when they come out, they’ll be incredibly cool, though rather inconveniently located on my elbows.
July 9th, 2004 at 12:22 am
In fact, I’m sure you will feel better. Sounds to me (from your post today on the courses) that you have plenty reasons to ge crabby and upset. Planning the details of transitions and then living through them is just plain hard.
July 12th, 2004 at 4:29 pm
I am feeling much better now, actually. I’m still intensely frustrated about the course response thing — as of yet, no answers — and not sure about all sorts of “where am I going” things, but I’m crying far, far less.
What annoyed me is that it wasn’t those long sob-fests that you feel better after, it was the tears trickling down crying. Oh well.