Though there’s no news
Well, I went to visit my grandmother, finally. And it was full of stumblings. “Remember how you used to come and visit and go swimming? I’d give you challah before and chicken schnitzel after.” Yes. I remember. I remember, too, when you stopped allowing us to come over.
February 22nd, 2005 at 12:24 am
I’m glad you went anyway.
February 22nd, 2005 at 1:38 am
Oh, this is tough stuff. I am sorry you are going through it.
I recently went through this when my great-aunt died. Because of work obligations (and the fact that we just weren’t all that close, which was their choice, not mine), I wasn’t able to attend the funeral. My great-uncle called up and said that he knew he must have offended me somehow. No, he hadn’t, I simply couldn’t be there. (It didn’t seem like the time to mention all those Thanksgivings when we lived two miles apart and I spent the holidays alone.) I don’t hold a grudge, but their choices to exclude my side of the family simply mean we weren’t very close. Awkward, awkward.
The only thing I can say is to try to focus now on the few positive memories, if there are any, and to talk about those with her if possible.
Tough times. Sorry. :(
February 22nd, 2005 at 5:31 pm
I don’t regret having gone. And I will go again. But there are still frustrations, and I can avoid them with her, but I remember them anyhow. So this is the best place for me to get them out without hurting anyone.
There are good things, and had things been different, I could have enjoyed my grandmother, but — well, they weren’t, and I don’t.
February 23rd, 2005 at 12:31 am
For what it’s worth - my thoughts are with you. Going through something vaguely similar myself, with a dying non-relative with whom I severed ties eight years ago - ties I opted not to repair when I found out he was dying. I don’t feel guilty about it, but I sure do feel bad.
February 23rd, 2005 at 7:33 pm
Thanks, MS.