Leaving things
Even when you know it’s good and right, and you’re leaving for someplace better for you; even when you’ve been unhappy with where you are: it’s still sad, it’s still hard, it’s still full of nostalgia and regret.
I don’t even understand it, entirely. I felt this same way as I was packing up to move away from grad school, and worse, sometimes, since. After all, was I that unhappy there? (Yes.) Couldn’t I have stuck it out? (I guess. Maybe.) Shouldn’t I have?
So this will be the same thing. The right choice? Yes. But still — I wish it were an easier one.
July 9th, 2005 at 1:41 pm
Yeah, I know what you mean. I’m having the frustration of having made up my mind to leave, trying desperately to leave, and yet as the summer wears on having to face the distinct possibility–increasingly “probability”–that I can’t go quite yet. Which is a different species of agony, but still, I empathize.
July 9th, 2005 at 8:30 pm
Yes, the same except in the reverse. Deciding to go and leaving is one thing; deciding to go but being unable to make that decision happen is another. As much as I feel sad about this, I am in a good position.
I am sorry to hear things aren’t working out so well in your job search. Hopefully they will start working — if not for Sept 2005, then 2006.
July 11th, 2005 at 10:30 pm
This is, in a nutshell, everything I’ve always felt about not living in Hungary.
(&: definitely let’s do a blogger meetup in August!)