musings for a holiday season
PZ Myers posted about religious people who are not anti-evolution — Orthodox Jews. Now, this is true: generally, a Jew who has been well-educated in religion does not believe that the Torah is *literally* true — nor do you actually need to believe in God to be Jewish (which is why I call myself an atheist Jew, though I tend more agnostic than atheist).
But — and I had a reasonably good Jewish education, as not-very-religious-families go — I never learned this until I was an adult. (Well, the atheism part, anyhow. I believe I got the evolution part while I was a teen.) When I was in elementary school, I was told that dinosaurs were from an earlier planet that was failed, so God smushed it up and started over again. I did not believe this, though I did not notice then that this also conflicted with the standard Genesis story. I don’t remember exactly when I was told this — I know it was in response to my asking about dinosaurs, but other than that, I can’t really say much about it.
I also didn’t get that Judaism is more about doing than believing, not until I started studying for my Bat Mitzvah. Unfortunately, I disliked my rabbi, so this turned me off religion rather more. Plus, of course, I didn’t believe in God. I *wanted* to — it sounds so nice! someone up there looking out for me! someone making sure things happen for some reason![1] — but I couldn’t. No one ever told me I didn’t have to. (Well, of course I knew I didn’t have to believe in God, much of my family does not, and they still are Jews, but somehow things didn’t click for me.)
The problem — or a problem — is that Montreal Judaism is supremely conservative. The Reform temple is huge, and — I don’t know, it doesn’t fit, somehow, I’ve never liked it. The Reconstructionist one is smaller, but the rabbi has veered incredibly rightward, more Conservative now than anything else. Unlike most cities with sizable Jewish populations, there doesn’t seem to be a small group of 20 or whatever people branching off and doing something, well, less conservative. And I wouldn’t know where to start reading things (this book seems like maybe a good start). Normally I would jump in but somehow I feel I can’t. My mother has no such worries and has been happily reworking the Haggadah to be more meaningful to her (which mostly means more contemporary and more feminist). And I appreciate it too, and have sent her things for it, but I don’t seem to move there myself.
There’s nothing exactly wrong with the standard sort of education I got — but it leaves out all the things that make the religion important to me, or would, if I knew about them. Family is important, but eventually a seder is a little boring for family togetherness time. For a while, this is what the traditions meant: family. But sometime in the past few years it changed, and I do not know how or why.
[1] This isn’t strictly accurate as Jewish theology goes, but what the hell.
December 29th, 2005 at 2:31 pm
“The Reconstructionist one is smaller, but the rabbi has veered incredibly rightward, more Conservative now than anything else.”
That’s really weird. Can you elaborate on the circumstances, outcome, etc?
December 30th, 2005 at 10:03 am
Not really. It is weird — I assume he had a change of heart at some point in his career, his wife was always quite Conservative (she taught in my elementary school; I did not like her, either), but I have no idea why. They haven’t changed the major things, obviously: no separation of men and women, women on the bimah, women having Bat Mitzvot at 13. But it’s still drifted right.
That said, he has also grown the community large, so this may either have been in response to pressure from the congregation or a cause of the bigger group, I don’t know.
December 30th, 2005 at 10:20 am
I found your blog today, and found this post interesting. I was raised mormon, another conservative religion, and I had similar experiences. The sexism inherent in the bible and church structure bothered me more and more as I grew up, as did the anti-evolution beliefs. Then I came across people that disavowed these things and still remained strong members of mormonism. But your reaction is similar to mine here: ” [she] has been happily reworking the Haggadah …but I don’t seem to move there myself.” My mormon cousin is also researching women in the old testament, relying a lot on Jewish myths and stories about them. But I just think that this approach is trying to make the religion what it isn’t, and historically hasn’t been. But the alternative is to give up the religion, and that’s what I seem to be choosing, but it’s not worth it to many people.
December 30th, 2005 at 11:40 pm
I don’t think that my mother is making the religion what it isn’t — it hasn’t been that, historically, but things change all the time. I think some of the sexism grew over time, and I think that even if it were always sexist, well, it’s not harmful to the religion to excise that part.