Imperfect
I read a couple of cat rescue blogs, when I can. And you know, I can never decide if I’m someone they’d even want to adopt out to. I mean, I gave my cat away. Sure, I can — do — have excuses. He wasn’t happy here; he was happy at my parents’ house; he likes them better; he refused to leave the closet here. And yes, of course I would have kept him if my parents hadn’t wanted him, and if anything ever happens, I will take him back. But you know, I’m thinking, I want another cat, or cats — but I am picky in what the cat should look like. I like long hair. I don’t want another solid coloured cat, really I’d like a tabby. Because Til is declawed, I want a declawed cat. But I read these blogs, saying that people who’ve ever given pets away shouldn’t have any more pets, or people who have preferences in what their cat looks like don’t really like cats, they should get a stuffed animal instead, and I think, of course I understand that you want to check me out, see that I keep my current cat safe and healthy, be sure I’m not into just discarding animals when I get bored. You are welcome to see that Sammy is safe and healthy, too. But if it’s impossible to ever have a good reason to give a pet away, or ever just have a preference in looks (that, yes, translates into adopting only cats that look right) without being some sort of monster, then — well, I may not be perfect, but I take good care of my animals (better care than I take of myself).
July 30th, 2006 at 3:06 am
Doesn’t it really come down to _how much_ you care about what the cat looks like? Or _how lightly_ you gave away your cat before? E.g. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with people picking one breed of cat over another. But I would be concerned about someone who found a stray, hungry cat that tried to adopt them and they ignored it and let it starve because it was the wrong colour or breed. These are two very different things.
Just as there’s a huge difference between people who give away a cat because they get bored with it, and people whose lifestyle changes uncontrollably so that they are unable to keep the cat anymore.
July 30th, 2006 at 4:07 am
I am feeling a lot of these same things right now becuase I adopted two older cats from the shelter a year ago and now a) because they don’t get along even though they were supposed to be a “bonded pair” and b) becuase my job situation is so uncertain I don’t know where i’ll be living in septemeber - I am trying to give them away. I feel a little like I’m bad for not spending tons of money to board them or for not foisting them onto a friend for a while until I find out what the situation is - but I think my move to try and find them a new good home is better than having to rush and drop them off at the shelter when I’m in trouble and can no longer feed them.
What I thought about when I read what you wrote is that I worry me giving away my two sweet kitties means I’m not allowed to get new cats when I am settled down somewhere. Am I a person who randomly adopts and then abandons pets? I don’t think so, but I do worry. However, I think that the humane society (where I got my kittes) would rather give their cat to someone like you (or me) - who owns a cat (or has owned one) and wants more - than to a person whose never had one and doens’t konw what it’s like.
Uh and personally I think it’s ok to be choosy about cats - when you go to a shelter you are choosing and looks get to count. Like Styley says - if you found an orange kitty (my least favorite looking kind) on your doorstep starving and you turned it away because you thought it was the wrong color - that would be maybe questionable behavior. But knowing what you want when you go to the shelter or shop around for a kitty to adopt - those are ok. Otherwise, they’d put the most-in-need-of-adoption kitties at the front of the shelter near the door and they’d force you to adopt the first kitty you see when you walk in. That strategy would never work!
July 30th, 2006 at 9:33 am
I guess I gave Sammy away rather lightly. I mean, he had a home, I just had to not take him one day. (Obviously my parents were fine with this.) I see him a few times a week, and he’s so clearly happy there.
I wouldn’t starve a stray. I don’t know what I’d do about adopting it — it’s impossible to have one outdoor and one indoor cat in the same home if your indoor cat really really wants to be an outdoor cat — it would depend on a number of factors. But I would certainly feed it — we’ve fed lots of strays.
Shelters don’t seem to mind as much as rescuers mind. And I agree, all cats are sweet, and all deserve to be rescued. But why can’t I choose based on bizarre criteria?
That said, your story about the cats not getting along is what worries me. I want to get another cat, but I don’t want Matilda to be miserable. And I only have one room with a door.
July 30th, 2006 at 9:36 am
I think that if nothing else, it’s obvious that you are a wondeful cat owner. It’s a tough thing to decide - Eldest Cat is very social and enjoyed having Middle Cat join him. Eldest Cat and Youngest Cat get along quite well, but after 4+ years, Middle Cat still hates Youngest Cat. Although MC has mellowed about it, thankfully. I found it easier to introduce a tiny kitten who was less threatening (and a certain “it’s a baby, I can’t kill it” instinct seems to kick in). Good luck deciding!
July 30th, 2006 at 9:43 am
NK, I am very tempted to get a kitten. Or a pair of kittens! But then I’d have to have them declawed, which I am somewhat against, instead of finding an already declawed cat. Also, I can return an adult cat if Matilda really is too upset, and it’s not harder to readopt her out, while a kitten a bit older might find it harder.
July 30th, 2006 at 10:35 am
These people are lunatics. No one who ever gives away a cat should ever be allowed custody of another one? What if they practiced what they preach?
If no one ever gave away a cat and no one paid any attention to looks when they adopted a cat, the world would be a very different place….
July 30th, 2006 at 11:13 am
I don’t think of how you handled his unhappiness as giving him away. He’s with your fam, where he had been for some time. Even if you’d had to resort to a shelter, you probably would’ve chosen no-kill. Realizing that your pet is unhappy and doing something positive about it is quite different than ditching a pet because of, well, many of the dumbass reasons I’ve seen at shelters (and shelters where people must’ve decided that killing their pet was preferable to their having to change any part of their lives).
That said, let me put in a strong vote against declawing. Adopting a cat that’s already declawded is much better. Introducing a kitten is easier, generally, but sometimes adult cats are easy to add too. It seems to depend on the cats.
July 30th, 2006 at 12:07 pm
I have found that the rescue people often have a holier-than-thou attitude towards who adopts their pets. Making sure the owner will be decent? Absolutely. Stating that allowing a cat to be an outdoor cat is Wrong, Always, In Any Circumstance (as I have seen done) - bizarre. *sigh* You are a wonderful cat owner, wolfa, and obviously care about your pets.
November 2nd, 2006 at 1:02 am
I have to say that you are not a bad cat-parent at all for leaving your cat with your family! I adopted two older kitties from a shelter and brought them homw to my other two kitties, one adapted wonderfully to our new home, the other, not so much and we had to give her away before she seriously injured one of our other cats. We were going to contact the shelter that we adopted her from but were so afraid they would try to take the other cat as well since we are not keeping the “pair” together. We chose to take her to a different “no-kill” shelter so that she would get the chance to have a new life away from our other kitties, whom she obviously wants nothing to do with. We made our decision out of love for our cat, and we feel like it was the best option given the situation. Of course, we tried to place her with family and friends first, but when that didn’t work, we chose the next best thing with a no-kill shelter. It is a horrible experience having to give away a pet that you love, but knowing that you did it for the right reasons is all that really should matter to you. You obviously care enough about your Sammy cat to accept that he is happy with your parents, and you are still able to visit him, so it’s really the best of both worlds!