Rudeness, silence
There’s a discussion going on at Ozarque’s about punitive silence, and a brief discussion of non-punitive silences. And, being a group of mostly geeky people, there’s the question of ignoring someone who talks to you (not just saying hello) when you’re reading: is it rude? are they rude?
What about if you’re watching TV? Does it change if it’s a commercial? What about if you have a DVR? What if you’re watching a movie? How about using the computer? What about doing a puzzle of some sort?
I tend to think that saying hi is ok, and more than that is obnoxious (barring things like emergencies). I think that people have the right to be doing something and not want to be interrupted, even in a public room. (This was my argument with my father, who said it was reasonable to not want to talk when I was reading, but not if I was in the living room.) It drives me nuts, for instance, when my mother and I are working on a crossword puzzle, and my sister comes in and starts (half of) a conversation. We’re doing something. I know you think it’s stupid and nerdy, but that’s not our problem. Except that you’re there, talking to us.
Of course, it’s also annoying when you’re concentrating on something and someone talks about you and (a) it distracts you or (b) it doesn’t distract you, you don’t hear them, and they get mad at you.
August 25th, 2006 at 4:44 pm
I think that a hi and/or a nod is polite when one enters a room and another person is there, but if that person is engaged in anything (reading, talking to another, watching TV, on the computer) that any additional talking is simply an interruption. If I am in my kitchen (where I am) and I’m typing an entry on my blog or a comment to you (which I am ;)) and my husband walks in the kitchen from the back yard where he has been doing whatever for a while, and he begins to talk to me, it’s an interruption of the activity I was engaged in prior to his arrival. It’s just rude. (BTW, he rarely but occasionally do this and a mumble or “hmm” withotu looking usually clues him into the fact that I’m preoccupied and not mentally available. With my kids, I have to say stuff like, “Be quiet and let me finish.” or “I’m busy. Go away.”
;)
(Not that I ever would say that, of course. Insert sarcasticv rolling eyes emoticon.)
August 25th, 2006 at 6:28 pm
There is an expectation in my office at school that if you are working and someone walks in, you will turn and exclaim how glad you are to see them, say “Hi” very brightly, and then take time to find out how they are and what is up. I HATE that. I barely want to be interrupted enough to say “Hi!” Oh, we must also do the same stuff when someone leaves.