Plus it’s COLD
When I get in a icky mood, these things happen:
- I start to hope that people I feel hurt by have bad things happen to them. (I don’t do things, just hope. But it’s not exactly what I consider a shining example of humanity.)
- I decide that fuck it, I’m tired of calling/emailing/whatevering people and stop getting in touch with people who don’t also initiate things. This regularly gets rid of a handful of people I used to see. And I wonder why I have so few friends.
- On the other hand, I decide I can’t muster the energy to see friends (except maybe my two closest friends) and stop returning calls, etc, because then I’ll have to Do Stuff. These are mostly people I won’t say that I’m in a funk to, and if there is one thing that I am good at lying about, it is this.
- I spend all all all day playing crappy stupid computer games that I don’t even enjoy then berate myself all night for wasting my time with these stupid games I don’t like. Then I feel so guilty the next day that I spend all day playing crappy stupid computer games.
- I get irritated at my cat for minor things, like sleeping on the wrong part of my bed, or snoring. Then I feel guilty and give her all the cat treats I have handy.
- I also stop commenting in all but two or so blogs (which two depends on the week). I berate myself for this and feel guilty and continue to not comment etc.
- I get irritated at everything I do, for no reason. I made coffee? Why did I bother? I didn’t make coffee? What is WRONG with me?
How much longer is it until spring?
Update: I also get annoyed at the weekly party at the place across from me. Normally their music doesn’t bother me — I rather like it. Not today. Turn it off and let me sulk in peace.
September 9th, 2006 at 5:02 pm
Yeah, but we all do that, right? Um…right?
September 9th, 2006 at 11:46 pm
I don’t know. Some of it seems more normal than the rest, but it’s hard to tell about yourself, you know?
September 10th, 2006 at 12:32 am
Well, none of it seems out of the ordinary to me. I’m familiar with every single one of those, or its equivalent. And I don’t consider it any worse than being “thoroughly out of sorts”. Usually, it either just passes, or something comes along to jolt me out of it.
The main difficulty is when that kind of funk drags on for more than a few days. Then it will almost paralyze me in terms of productivity. I’ll have to really lower the bar there and start with really small, easy stuff just to ease myself back into any kind of routine.
At the same time, I’ll have to start pampering myself with some very simple pleasures - lingering over my coffee made with new delicious creamers, or making a cleansing mask for my face out of stuff found in my kitchen from a recipe I found online, stuff like that. Also, I find that going outside, however briefly, helps. Something about fresh air, maybe? I dunno.
But if it’s only for a few days? I’ll usually just wallow in it. And read. Or play games. I like timed ones, like Text Twist, because it really gets the blood moving and I’m not thinking of anything but the game.
Anyway, I hope you feel much better very soon.
September 10th, 2006 at 12:45 am
YOU need to get out. It’s not EVEN winter yet. I don’t care if you are in Canada. Don’t start burying yourself yet.
September 10th, 2006 at 1:17 am
Shelly, I know! But it’s really cold, for September.
I do get out and do socialish things near-daily.
September 10th, 2006 at 8:46 am
Aww… poor Wolfa!
But getting grouchy at your beautiful kitty for snoring? That’s just wrong. Kitty snoring is adorable!
Which side of the bed is she supposed to sleep on? I get grouchy with stinkerbelle for sleeping between my legs. hate it.
September 10th, 2006 at 8:52 am
I know it’s adorable. But she doesn’t really snore, she *wheezes*. (I spent ages worried about this when I got her. She wheezes! She’s about to die! But no, it’s just her thing.)
She’s supposed to sleep near me. She usually sleeps between my legs, which I let her, because I let her do whatever she wants.