a wolf angel is not a good angel

I have been disinclined to blog. Or perhaps it’s just a disinclination to blog about anything of substance or of importance. I feel uncomfortable doing it, as uncomfortable as I feel talking to people about things, which is: very. Because I am sad[1], and though I have many posts about being sad, I feel less able to write about it, want to keep it hidden and secret. It’s not good.

I wonder if it’s because I’m no longer anonymous enough? I wonder if it’s because I feel disconnected, though more reasonably, I feel disconnected *because* I am depressed. But it’s hard to say: I am not getting the pushes of creativity or the moments of mental clarity that sometimes I got.

Nothing appeals to me to write about. It’s as grey and dreary inside as out. Matilda is unusually friendly, meaning either that I am ignoring her or that she senses something wrong.

I am so very tired. Maybe I will make more sense of all of this tomorrow.

[1] In this case, read sad as actually meaning depressed, in the standard clinical sense. After about half my life like this (what a waste), I can tell.

This entry was posted on Thursday, September 28th, 2006 at 6:30 pm and is filed under too lazy to categorise this. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.