In which I realise I dislike the kind of blog I write (but continue anyhow)
I’m really not doing well at the whole distracting. Hey look! Over there! I’m not madly unhappy, see? I am, however, doing very well at the avoidance, including the not bothering to contact people much. Who needs to talk to people? If I do, I might have to talk about myself. I can do it through the somewhat polite fiction of this blog, but that’s it.
Not that I mean to think my friends are stupid and blind and think I’m a-ok fine, just that they know not to ask, because I will deflect. I am good at deflecting, and I do not really want to talk, because I don’t know what to say, and I don’t know what I think, and really, too much talking just feels like too much wallowing, as an assy, hurtful email I got earlier this year said.