a wolf angel is not a good angel

The fall here was really rough. Most of it is stuff I don’t want to talk about, and some of it stuff that is getting better, but it was rough. (On me, on my sisters, by extension on my parents, on other extended family members.) Things still feel fragile, but I guess with time they will feel less so. Or they will prove to actually be fragile and break.

Matilda, for instance, is fine. She doesn’t limp anymore and she’s fat, as really skinny cats go. She has a nice purse dog collar (apparently purse dogs have smaller necks than cats, and cat collars are too big for her) and doesn’t try to go outside now. She is on and off loving again, though she slept on me this morning and purred. She never does that except when it is inconvenient.

Mostly I am not talking about things to people. Mostly I am not thinking about things. Will it break them? Will it help? I don’t know, or don’t want to know. Avoiding works well. I can forget things after a time, float along on a river of things working themselves out behind the scenes. This isn’t what caused things to go bad. I don’t think anything caused that. I don’t know if avoidance helped (kept me sane, ish) or hurt (kept me from doing things that might or might not have made a change) but it was all I could manage.

It’s interesting sometimes to see how other people deal. Mostly it seems to be the same way I do: avoidance for personal issues, working their asses off for other people. Averages out, in the end.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, February 6th, 2008 at 2:53 pm and is filed under lunacy. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.