a wolf angel is not a good angel

How fun, I thought, when I picked up the book, and first started reading it. A “what would happen if we decided to have our own, Canadian monarch?” story, set not too long from now. (Either the dates were made unclear or I didn’t notice them.) And the first part of the book is very funny, though probably only if you’re Canadian. Some guy is chosen to be the new king (by winning a lottery). But oh no! He is from Toronto! Everyone hates Toronto, and poor Toronto doesn’t know how wonderful it is.

This turns into the entire rest of the book. Canada becomes three places: Toronto, Alberta, Quebec (which separates, and then magically all the Canadian citizens living there lose their Canadian citizenship). Toronto is good and wonderful and so sadly, sadly taken advantage of by the rest of Canada. Alberta is full of right-wingers and/or rednecks. Quebec is full of jerks. King John is so wonderful and clever and he loves Canada and Toronto! Toronto Toronto Toronto! Did I mention it’s the only important place in all of Canada? Sorry, BC, Atlantic provinces, maybe another book.

Nothing is subtle here. We know John is loved because we’re told how much he is loved. He makes the CFL popular! I mean, it already is, but he makes it popular in *Toronto*. And he shows those silly Aboriginals how silly their complaints are, and the silly feminists how silly their women’s awards are, and so on.

The book is supposedly written by John’s adviser, Blue, in John’s old cabin in Northern Ontario in the winter as he is about to freeze or starve to death, whichever. So chapters about the monarchy are alternated with chapters about freezing to death while writing a book, and the book ends with John and Blue both dying, in a weird, petered out ending, as if the author can’t think of more political pet peeves that John can miraculously fix so he kills everyone off. Sadly, it wasn’t done just a few hundred pages earlier.

But I have now read Harry Potter spoilers that discuss whether Harry lives or dies — unexpectedly popped up in my feed readers — and that’s ok, because I’ve read equal numbers of each spoiler. My current assumption is that one was leaked, and JKR/publishers leaked the other deliberately to foil the first leaker (I assume they’d've done this whether the correct or incorrect spoiler was leaked), though “people make shit up and claim they have inside knowledge” is also a likely answer.

Which Mix of the Hogwarts Houses are You?

You’re a Ravenpuff!: You are a very analytical and ingenius person, someone that likes to invent new things. The way you look at life is with wonder, and sometimes you’re even a little naive. But people love you for that trait and they feel the need to protect you from the harsh facts of life so that you can retain your innocence. You are very capable person and when there is trouble people turn to you because you’re able to stay calm and collected. You like balance in your life and you try not to make many waves. Even still, if there is something that you believe strongly in, you will commit yourself totally to that cause. Your weakness is that sometimes you can be indecisive and perfectionist, especially about little details and you drive people crazy sometimes with these traits. With the innocence of a Hufflepuff and the calm of a Ravenclaw you will be loved in life!
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I’m not sure about the description, but those are the two houses (in that order, even) that would fit me best.

After JKR writes her Harry Potter encyclopedia, she could try some of these books. Warning, pdf file.

I am most fond of Harry Potter and the Dark Lord of the Dance, and Harry Potter and the Pimping of his Ride, but you really should look at the whole thing.

It’s Harry Potter, it’s poetry, and it’s open to residents of Quebec (and everywhere else). Now I just need to write some theme poetry.

So, since the other post is lost in the mists of weird blog problems, I will reiterate my complaint about the independent bookstores that are here. As you might notice if you look at the back of a book, in Canada, books cost at least 25% more than in the US. And books are expensive, especially if they’re not rereads, because half the time you can only get the 20$ trade paperbacks. I understand the problems with big box stores, but they have really easy online ordering, and they’re way cheaper.

This means that, if you want me to go to an independent bookstore, there needs to be value added. And just “eclecticker selection of books” is not value enough (big box stores have a lot of books). What I want is someone who reads a lot, and has some kind of good advice to give about books. I want to be acknowledged when I go in the store, too, as opposed to ignored until I have some cash to hand over.

I’ve had good experiences at a (now defunct) mystery bookseller in NH, and bad ones at a bookstore in a touristy area in Maine (well, since it was sold, anyhow). I understand that here, there’s a language issue, so we’re cutting the possible population in half, but really: there are a lot of people here, it’s odd that the only independent bookstores are filled with pretentiousier-than-thou types.

I am not really a big book-buyer. I can’t afford to buy that many books. But I do try to shop at places that make things worth it for me. Used bookstores: filled with charming eccentric people who talk or books that cost a few dollars (or both). Big box bookstores: all the books I can imagine to browse at (and get in the library), and huge online inventories. Independent bookstores: all the cost, none of the charm. I am really not interested in ordering from an online bookseller that I don’t have some sort of relationship with.

I am sure I would love S’s bookstore, but it’s an 8 hour drive away. I want to know why all these wonderful independent bookstores are somewhere that is else.

You know, people say “Go shop at independent booksellers! They’re wonderful and friendly and they need you!” And I will certainly agree that used booksellers tend to be quite friendly, and sure, we used to have this wonderful independent bookseller (Canadian only), but they shut. And the independent bookstores here? Full of obnoxious pretentious grumps. No, I don’t want you following me around all the time, but if I go into a small bookstore I would at least like the courtesy of a “hello, may I help you?” instead of listening to you all talking about your new hats and an obnoxious customer from last week.

Seriously, I went in that store and was so irritated by the staff that I swore I would never go in again. You want me to pay a lot more than the already higher Canadian prices? Fine, but then I expect that I am paying for customer service: please provide it.

I really want to know where all these wonderful independent bookstores are. They’re certainly not *here*.

A Mugglenet take:

“Dumbledore’s triumphant resurrection, complete with the gaudy descent from the heavens on Sirius’ motorbike was completely and utterly unnecessary…but at least we now know where the motorbike actually is and the significance of where it went after Book 1.” -Brendan

“Seven books, countless hours, and many tears, just to find out that Harry defeats Voldemort not with love, but a Muggle handgun?!” -Rachael

“I can’t help but cry each time I think about the dramatic return of Sirius Black and how he died again only seconds after being reunited with Harry. And I never would’ve thought Neville would be the one to wake up at the end and realize it was all a dream. Good one, Jo!” -K’lyssa

“I think this is the first time I’ve ever seen corporate sponsorship of a novel. I was, quite frankly, startled by Jo’s decision to make Voldemort’s eight (yes, EIGHT) Horcruxes be hearts, stars, and horseshoes, clovers and blue moons, pots o’ gold and rainbows, and a red balloon. Even worse were the subtleties throughout when Ron would say things like, ‘This Horcrux hunt is magically delicious, Harry!’ Honestly…” -Ryan

This is still not quite as good as the Pandagon one (Draco Malfoy is gay, gay, gay, gay, gay. Gay.), but I am nevertheless amused.

I had a few mystery authors who I used as standard recommendations, generally the series (and not the far less common standalones). Later books in the series have annoyed me so much that I have stopped recommending the authors at all, even when they have 4 or 8 or 10 very good books already. I am undecided about whether this is sane or not.

I ended up reading one of the books suggested (so far), PopCo, which, yes, gets far too preachy at the end, which is unfortunate, since it was otherwise quite the good book (barring the lack of answer to what the actual necklace meant — I know what number I would need to find the prime factors for, that was obvious, but I have exactly zero interest in actually doing the code-breaking for this book).

Mostly, I came off thinking that if globalisation etc is so bad, though, perhaps the author should not have published her book with a company owned by Rupert Murdoch, and I want to go eat a steak now. Preachy can end up putting people off your message.

If you skip the end part, though, the book is lots of fun. And all you miss is the stuff you can catch from any self-righteous vegan, anyhow.