Last night I dreamed that I woke up early and made muffins. I had half planned to do this for real, but figured the chance that I would magically wake up before my alarm was low. And in fact I only woke up 5 minutes before my alarm, without a single muffin to console me. […]
It was very bizarre, having something to do with getting married in India on a class trip with my high school class (and boys). I don’t remember the details, which is good, because it was also very upsetting.
On the plus side, I remember liking my wedding dress.
I’m really not doing well at the whole distracting. Hey look! Over there! I’m not madly unhappy, see? I am, however, doing very well at the avoidance, including the not bothering to contact people much. Who needs to talk to people? If I do, I might have to talk about myself. I can do it […]
The reality is that I am not really okay, and that part, though not all, of why I was quiet for so long was that I didn’t want to admit it — well, have it in writing, at least.
The weather has turned unpromising for this weekend, which means that probably I will be here, doing I am not sure what, but probably not very much. I have no idea if I am pleased or disappointed. Maybe both, or maybe I have just been that successful at insulating myself from anything I feel, an […]
It annoys me when people say, of someone who is doing really stupid/hurtful/cruel/(self-)destructive things, “So-and-so is doing the best that they can.”
Look, this might be true. Sometimes it is true. You do what you can, and sometimes just not being more stupid or hurtful or cruel or destructive than you are being is all you […]
Again, I’m struggling to find things to say. I am not entirely sure what there is, even, that I am not saying.
I also feel that anything I do say would be some kind of a lie. Implying things, or leaving off implications, or lacking the right context, or about what I wish were true […]
And my god, am I ever tired. I really don’t have anything going on except this exhaustion all the time. All.
I was in a coffee shop today, drinking coffee — caffeinated coffee — listening to some guy talk about his church and how Catholicism was inherently evil cause it’s based on Paganism and reading […]
Been lying in bed, waiting to sleep, for a few hours now. I am tired enough to not be able to do things, but not tired enough to actually sleep, it seems. Worse yet, I have my alarm set for frighteningly early tomorrow, on the idea that I was getting to bed early today.
Point out that I’m awfully defensive for no good reason. This is indeed true, but all I end up doing is defending my defensiveness.
Though it’s really something I need to get over, this being apologetic about asking questions about what’s going on in a friend’s life. But what if I’m prying! But what if I […]