a wolf angel is not a good angel

Oh so crampy. I feel crampy and grumpy and ow.
And I pity any girl who is me right now.

Hey, suddenly I got my period. Sorry, Stephen Sondheim — but I bet this is what Maria wanted to sing on occasion, too.

I have very bad cramps. I do not much feel *sick*, but I do feel in pain, like my uterus has slipped out, grabbed a bayonet, and started stabbing and twisting into my gut.

Painkillers aren’t helping. Right now I’m voting for not moving a muscle, but that doesn’t seem to stop pain, either. Damn you, reproductive system.

• people who don’t set up the auto withdrawal that they’ve been agreeing to do for months, then play like it’s my fault;
• tourists who like to sit in a caleche so all of Old Mtl smells like horse shit;
• people who walk in the bike path when there’s a pedestrian path right next to the bike path;
• people who drive their scooters in the bike path (ILLEGAL) because otherwise they’d be going the wrong way down a one way street;
• people who bike or rollerblade side by side in the narrow bike path;
• people who are so freaking desperate to pass you that they do it as someone is coming the other way instead of waiting 10 seconds then passing;
• stupid fucking morons who STOP and CHAT in the middle of the bike path, or slow down when walking across it and they see you coming[1];
• poorly maintained bike paths that jostle you when you’re getting your period and want to be home lying down already.

This post brought to you by the letters P, C, and I.

[1] Totally appropriate in a crosswalk if a car is being pesty. Cars = easy to start again, bikes = not.

I am still feeling all icky and crampy. Stupid, stupid uterus. I hope my next pills kick in very soon so I can go to sleep.

I think I am getting my period again. And it is particularly bad this time — unlike in recent months. Pain pain pain and sure I know I’m a wimp but it *hurts*. (I am waiting for pills to kick in.)

I periodically try putting heat on, but it’s too hot here to do that. Gah — I am in pain and also feeling sickish — not sick enough to be sick, too sick to be not sick and I really hate internal organs sometimes.

I think I am getting pain when I ovulate. The timing and symptoms are right, but it is always on my left side, though it might be every other month, I forget. Also it might be on my right side sometimes and I forget.

I can’t imagine how I think I am clear enough about the timing to say it’s right. But it seems right, and what is the internet for if not to diagnose yourself?

The good news is that my cramps waited until after everyone left before they decided to make an appearance.

This is probably a something something due to a virus, which usually lasts 2-6 weeks. I am also getting a CT scan, for peace of mind. (I’ve never had one, but my friend says they’re painless. Except that part about the needle, I guess.) I also have prescriptions for some patch thing which sometimes works (why didn’t he give it to me last time, saying “if it doesn’t go away and if Gravol doesn’t help, fill this prescription”).

In other news, I have iron deficiency anemia (but I am very slightly anemic, and it is absolutely not the cause of this dizziness: on the other hand, I am very clearly low in iron), and was given a prescription for iron pills. “Your stool will turn black, and you might get dizzy and constipated.” Or, in other words, I’ll start taking them *after* Passover, thanks. (There’s no rush, and if I’m forced to eat steak and chickpeas and spinach, I will suffer through eating foods I love, just as soon as I’m hungry again.)

My headaches are getting worse, I’m more nauseated, and I am not sleeping enough anymore. On the plus side, I got my period last weekend and NO CRAMPS.

By the end of the day I am ready to cry.

Okay, these cramps are just *weird*. They’re not painful — or at least, not as painful as they sometimes can be, though periodically there’s a wave of it — but I feel half-nauseated all the time (as well as hungry all the time). Not enough to be sick, but enough that I want to be sick, which I am avoiding, because when I throw up I almost always end up getting ear infections, which I despise even more than feeling sickish.

So I am feeling all off — the pain is weird, the nausea is weird, every single muscle feels tight and achy and something I can’t describe, and worst of all, it’s not going away despite my taking pills! Magical pills, do your magic cramp-relief! Please, I am begging you.

Now I got my period. I hate cramps.